✖ Living With It ✖

Hi lovelies,

I’m going to dig deep with this blog post, cause I’d like to talk about the struggles of living with illness, both physical & mental, throughout my 20’s, and now into my 30’s. I think it’s really important to share our life’s struggles (and joys!) with each other, cause life can get really tough sometimes! And part of the reason I started this blog was to have an outlet to talk about my journey through illness, as well as awesome plus-size fashion, body positivity and everything kitty cats offcourse!

So, I guess I should start at the beginning. I was struck down with severe IBS (Irritable Bowel Syndrome) in my early 20’s.

“IBS and muscular disorders of the gut are the most common persistent pain syndromes and are characterised by chronic abdominal pain, alterations in bowel habit and bloating”. “IBS is defined as a group of functional bowel disorders (meaning no structural abnormality can be seen)” – Professor Terry Bolin, 2011.

Quite simply, IBS is a name given for a condition that is invisible *sigh*. Although it IS known that muscular activity in the gut of patients with IBS is uncoordinated, therefore causing spasm, bloating and abdominal pain. There is also increased sensitivity of the nerves lining the gut in patients with IBS.

I’ve spoken to lots of people who have IBS, and everyone seems to be affected differently. Some people just need to tweak their diet slightly to see great improvements. Whilst others like me who have tried everything imaginable, like following a strict Low-FODMAP diet, losing 36kg, remedial massage, homeopathy, naturopathy, multiple investigatory surgeries, and ALL THE PILLS (some experimental) hasn’t changed a thing for my IBS.

From my experience, most people don’t like to talk about it because it involves ‘toilet problems’ haha! I totally understand – it’s not the most socially acceptable topic of conversation! But in my case it’s more about the impact of the episodes of extreme pain that come out of nowhere and literally bring me to the floor. Not to mention the daily nausea and distention that starts in the morning and gets worse throughout the day, leaving me unable to stand up. “Scientific evidence confirms that lying down reduces distention”- Professor Terry Bolin, 2011.

It’s hard for me to even believe I lost 36kg within 12 months a few years ago! Here’s a photo of me at my lightest at 68kg (size 12-14), and now back at my starting weight of 104kg (size 20-22). *Note my most favourite Christmas present of all time, hello Dashboard Jesus! He keeps me safe while I’m driving. No air bags you see. Hehe!

I’ll explain this crazy weight loss and yo-yo back to my original weight that I went through. It was caused by the combination of having IBS, and then developing depression and panic disorder a few years later, which took me a little while to get properly addressed with medication and therapy. My panic disorder made me too scared to eat proper meals for fear of the pain, and I was sweating and shaking so much on a daily basis, that I just dropped the weight without even realising it until my clothes started to become way too big on me.

I was SO lucky to have been referred to the most amazingly kind, understanding and helpful psychologist, by my GP (who is also an awesome dude)! I’m a lucky girl. I’ve had 4 years of solid therapy and take my anti-depressant meds daily. I used to be ashamed to admit that as I thought that made me a weak person, but I’m not anymore. I’m so proud of myself for putting the hard work in to get to where I am today. Still not cured of IBS, but better able to manage my mental health and happiness.

These resource & recipe books have been so wonderful in helping me understand and manage to live with this painful invisible illness I have…

• Dr Sue Shepherd – Food Intolerance Management Plan, Low-FODMAP Recipes, Irresistibles for the Irritable.
• Professor Terry Bolin & The Gut Foundation – Understanding Gas and Bloating : Why can’t I do my jeans up at night? 

I hope this has given you a little insight into what it’s like to live with illness. Do you have any experiences of living with illness? What has helped you manage/cope?

These days I tend to say ‘F*CK YOU IBS!’ in true Joan Rivers style, and always try to VIBE POSITIVE. It’s the best way I can deal – Lou. xo